Spoke to the NHS fertility clinic and after 5weeks they have now finally found our referral however they have no appointments and they can not give me any rough time frames for when new appointment will be released! This is a joke I am so frustrated and angry, I am presuming this is the same story everywhere and I feel and if I am being dramatic, but it is waisting time and the secretaries on the other end of the phone have zero sympathy, not even an ‘I’m sorry, I know this must be frustrating for you however…’ It is literally ‘computer says no!’
Am I being unrealistic in my expectations?
On a positive note after 2 weeks of phone calls and voicemails I have now got through to the private secretary and booked an initial appointment for next week to see what he says and inquire about costing, as with my bonus this month and some money squirrelled away we can afford a round, I think, and it is buying time, there a certain things that are more important in life, and worth stretching yourself for. In the meantime she has given me some info to read to prepare ourselves.
Wow so spring is certainly in the air. 4 pregnancy announcements in the last week.
One of my best friends announced she was pregnant on Sunday with baby number 2. The weird thing was she told me via a Facebook message, we have been friends for 17 years, I have told her everything, she always reminds me that she is there to talk, yet a Facebook message?! Does this amazing life changing news for her not deserve a phone call? Anyway I am so pleased for them as I know we had been having chats around them trying for a second back in August. I am not going to lie though, I did cry privately to my husband, not because of their news but because of my anger and frustration at our situation. I want to be included in my friends conversations around pregnancy, highs/lows of motherhood etc. but every so often it does hit you, and you need a little cry to let it all out and then you are ok again!
Anyway back to a week of chasing secretaries who seem to never pick up the phone and call you back at the most inappropriate times; and what I don’t get is when you call back 2 mins later they don’t pick up, it is as if you have only a 30 second opportunity and that is it for another week!
The thought of the long bank holiday weekend in 2 weeks is keeping me going, I am tempted to book a mini staycation if it is affordable, maybe the Lake District?!
Went to Bournemouth on a work trip today and had the nicest day, it is amazing what a bit if sunshine can do for you! It really feels like spring now, especially seeing at the weekend all the sheep in my parents field having their lambs too, so cute!
Let’s hope this isn’t an early summer!
Happy Mother’s day to all mums and mums to be. I thought I would get creative and make my mum a card this morning before Hubbie and I went over to my parents to make them scrambled eggs and smoked salmon for brunch, yum!
Had this book lent to me today, it is meant to have some interesting info for both myself and Hubbie on how to ensure our bodies are in the best possible condition to maximise any possible chances of conceiving, so I thought I would have a read in the garden and soak up some sunshine at the same time…
I can’t believe how quick this week has flown by. I have spoken to the fertility clinic at the hospital again today and there is still no sign of our faxed or mailed referral letters, which is ridiculous and completely incompetent on their part! I am so frustrated and angry as that is 3 weeks wasted!
I saw my Chiropodist on Tuesday to get my ‘crocodile’ feet as my lovely husband would call them, made all beautiful in preparation for reflexology tomorrow. We had a great chat as she too was unable to have children, she is now in her 50’s and when she was in he 30’s she didn’t qualify for IVF due to her and her husband’s age, and then secondly because she had fallen pregnant and miscarried (but never fell pregnant again). It was a heartbreaking story, she told me how hard it was in her 30’s when her friends were having babies, and how she met some horrible people who would rub it constantly in her face that she was childless, dropping comments in to conversation such as, ‘you don’t have children do you,’ as if it was a choice, she even moved because her neighbour who had twins was so spiteful on a constant basis. She also said that she would have gone private for treatment but they couldn’t afford it, and her mother-in-law, who could afford to help them said, ‘if you have children, you will have less time for me!’ I can’t imagine how difficult this must have been for her, but it was great to talk to someone face to face who had been through this journey and it made me realise how lucky we are that fertility treatment has moved on so much and is more readily available to a wider age group.
It really made me think about our situation too, the lack of urgency at the fertility clinic, and whether we should try the luxury of going private? I have received my yearly bonus this month, and although my husband has been unemployed for the past year he did find a job in Jan, plus we have a bit of money for a house deposit squirreled away, so I have left some voicemails to inquire. However I am concerned that if we can afford one or two rounds private, does that impact our chances of getting IVF on the NHS if it doesn’t work, or how quickly we could receive it in the NHS? I don’t know if anyone else has tried private while they are waiting for NHS?
I also spoke to her about reflexology, at this point in time I am willing to try anything that may help up us, however she completely slated it, saying that I should be careful, particularly if I did ever happen to fall pregnant as you should never have it in the first trimester. I think I am too easily influenced as I am now questioning it and I am not sure what to do?! Everyone has such mixed opinions on alternate therapies.
Well I went back to the doctors today to find out about our referral. They guaranteed me that it was sent and faxed, so they are blaming the fertility clinic! Apparently they had one patient previously that got so frustrated with it all that they ended up taking the referral to the hospital themselves and handing it straight to the secretary. This isn’t very comforting, when these are the people who you are trusting to help you start a family and you want to feel confident that they sympathise with your sense of urgency to get the ball rolling.
I am giving them until Friday to find it and then I’m following in that previous woman’s foot steps and driving it over there!
I have a feeling I am going to have to spend a lot of time checking up on, and chasing people throughout this process.