Happy Mother’s day to all mums and mums to be. I thought I would get creative and make my mum a card this morning before Hubbie and I went over to my parents to make them scrambled eggs and smoked salmon for brunch, yum!
Had this book lent to me today, it is meant to have some interesting info for both myself and Hubbie on how to ensure our bodies are in the best possible condition to maximise any possible chances of conceiving, so I thought I would have a read in the garden and soak up some sunshine at the same time…
I can’t believe how quick this week has flown by. I have spoken to the fertility clinic at the hospital again today and there is still no sign of our faxed or mailed referral letters, which is ridiculous and completely incompetent on their part! I am so frustrated and angry as that is 3 weeks wasted!
I saw my Chiropodist on Tuesday to get my ‘crocodile’ feet as my lovely husband would call them, made all beautiful in preparation for reflexology tomorrow. We had a great chat as she too was unable to have children, she is now in her 50’s and when she was in he 30’s she didn’t qualify for IVF due to her and her husband’s age, and then secondly because she had fallen pregnant and miscarried (but never fell pregnant again). It was a heartbreaking story, she told me how hard it was in her 30’s when her friends were having babies, and how she met some horrible people who would rub it constantly in her face that she was childless, dropping comments in to conversation such as, ‘you don’t have children do you,’ as if it was a choice, she even moved because her neighbour who had twins was so spiteful on a constant basis. She also said that she would have gone private for treatment but they couldn’t afford it, and her mother-in-law, who could afford to help them said, ‘if you have children, you will have less time for me!’ I can’t imagine how difficult this must have been for her, but it was great to talk to someone face to face who had been through this journey and it made me realise how lucky we are that fertility treatment has moved on so much and is more readily available to a wider age group.
It really made me think about our situation too, the lack of urgency at the fertility clinic, and whether we should try the luxury of going private? I have received my yearly bonus this month, and although my husband has been unemployed for the past year he did find a job in Jan, plus we have a bit of money for a house deposit squirreled away, so I have left some voicemails to inquire. However I am concerned that if we can afford one or two rounds private, does that impact our chances of getting IVF on the NHS if it doesn’t work, or how quickly we could receive it in the NHS? I don’t know if anyone else has tried private while they are waiting for NHS?
I also spoke to her about reflexology, at this point in time I am willing to try anything that may help up us, however she completely slated it, saying that I should be careful, particularly if I did ever happen to fall pregnant as you should never have it in the first trimester. I think I am too easily influenced as I am now questioning it and I am not sure what to do?! Everyone has such mixed opinions on alternate therapies.
Well I went back to the doctors today to find out about our referral. They guaranteed me that it was sent and faxed, so they are blaming the fertility clinic! Apparently they had one patient previously that got so frustrated with it all that they ended up taking the referral to the hospital themselves and handing it straight to the secretary. This isn’t very comforting, when these are the people who you are trusting to help you start a family and you want to feel confident that they sympathise with your sense of urgency to get the ball rolling.
I am giving them until Friday to find it and then I’m following in that previous woman’s foot steps and driving it over there!
I have a feeling I am going to have to spend a lot of time checking up on, and chasing people throughout this process.
I am off work sick today as I have a constant tickling cough and an endless streaming nose, nice! I have been busy with work and was away in Boston on business last week, so I think I just need sometime for rest, plus I don’t think my pregnant boss would appreciate me passing it on to her or any of the team. I have been doing the usual, snuggling up with the cat, watching day time TV and wasting my money entering their competitions and topping up my summer wardrobe with a bit of online shopping (I am loving H&M at the moment).
This afternoon I thought I would phone the hospital to double check that they had received our GP referral and to inquire how long the waiting time would be before we got an appointment. Well it turns out that neither the secretary or the appointments team have seen a referral for us, brilliant! I then call the GP to get the ever useful receptionist who can tell me nothing apart from the fact that there is not doctor available to talk to, not even on the phone. All I want them to do it send it again, the hospital even said for them to fax it over, but no I need an appointment, I now have to wait until Saturday! I am so frustrated, at least we know now though instead of waiting 6 weeks before inquiring as to why we have not yet received an appointment, but now I feel as if I wont be able to trust anyone and will have to check up on them all the time!
We went and saw my friend on Saturday, the one who gave birth in Jan. We had a little cuddle with baby who is changing so much and so quickly. She is still so tiny at 8ILBs, but apparently she is growing in line with the growth curve, however she is in the bottom 25% so she is petite for her age; some babies are born that weight and even bigger! My friend seems so laid back and relaxed, she has really taken motherhood in her stride and I think that is reflecting on baby too, as she was just chilling and snoozing the whole time, they are such a cute little family.
We also went for a cuddle with our Godson and to have a brainstorm with the parents to get his christening/first birthday organised. He also has changed soo much in the past few weeks, he is no longer looking like a baby but now at 9 months he is looking like a boy and he is just tooo gorgeous I could eat him up. I just love baby giggles, it has to be one of my favorite sounds (the Cow and Gate advert that had the babies giggling in it was genius), it just makes my heart melt, we were pushing him on the swing outside, as we actually had some sunny weather, and he was loving it, having a little chuckle every time we grabbed his feet!
It is times like this that are the hardest as they make you soo broody, and they make you curse the universe for being unfair. However at least we have great friends and family around us with beautiful babies whose lives we are a part of, and we do feel honored that we have been asked to be God Parents.
So yesterday we had our final Doctors appointment now that all our tests are complete, and so that we can finally be referred to a fertility specialist.
My final results were:
Chlamydia test: Negative, Routine Swab: Normal, Hemoglobin blood test: Fine,
2 x 21 Day Progesterone tests: 15 and 8 which is not ideal, to ovulate you should have a minimum level of 30 so the doctor suggested that even though I am having period I may not be actually releasing an egg.
Anyway we spoke about specialists in the local area and who she knew better than others, and our referral was sent! Woohoo! We are so relieved as finally things can start happening for us!